When a Friend Loses a Loved One: How to Be There For Them

This is coming from a girl who lost her older brother about 4 years ago. I have never shared about this experience publicly but as I was reflecting on it today, I thought this might help someone.

Even if you have not yet had a friend going through losing a loved one; at some time in the future, you probably will. This is the sad truth.

My Personal Experience

Growing up in Haiti, whenever someone in my neighborhood experience the lost of a loved one; everyone’s there for that person. Even if some may not have much; they bring what they can and help that person in whatever way possible. If that means helping them clean their house, doing their hair, cooking for the guests. They do it all.

I came to the U.S with the expectation that that’s what people do. I quickly realized that that’s only the case with few people.

Imagine how hurt I was when my brother passed away and I was expecting those that are supposed to care to be there.

p.s if you’re reading this as a friend that wasn’t exacttly there during that time, no biggie. Honestly. I’ve learned that everyone views this differently. Perhaps I just had higher expectations but I’ve since moved on.

I’m sharing this post so that your friend doesn’t have to go through a loss alone. I get that we don’t like being put in uncomfortable spots. I completely get that but aren’t we called to mourn with those that are mourning and rejoice with those that are rejoicing? (Romans 12:15)

I would love to share some ways you can be there for someone close to you going through the loss of a loved one.

You can make a difference

You may have never been there before. By there, I mean you probably have lost someone in your family but not anyone really close and dear to you.

Although most of the time we probably don’t want to admit it, some death affects us much more than others and we all handle the mourning stage different.

If you have a friend who’s grieving and you have no idea how to be there for them, well, I’ve got a few tips.

1. It’s okay if you don’t know what to say

No. Seriously. Even after experiencing what I did, I still don’t have the right words when someone is going through a loss.  I’ve learned it’s best to be yourself and express how you feel in whatever way you can.
This pill consists of Sildenafil citrate since order cheap viagra the active element. Opioid steal here buy cialis online is a highly addictive substance and you stand a great chance of getting into opioid abuse. The following are the positive symptoms: Constant and severe pain within the stomach’s upper right portion that continues for several days. viagra sale But, before finalizing the decision, you will need to keep levitra soft tabs his eyes and brain ON while ordering the medicine online as many online service providers deal in fake, illegal and harmful anti-impotence drugs.

But wait… Please keep your tongue from saying things like:

You’ll get over it soon (thanks but no, no, and no)

I know how you feel (um, no you do not).

They’re in a better place now (do you know that, really?)

If what you can do is stop by and tell a joke, do so. If you can stop by to give your friend a hug, that’ll make a difference.

Subscribe to the blog, click HERE to receive more tips and encouragements.

2. Don’t think they want to be left alone always

It’s true after your friend loses someone they’ll most likely need some space but they don’t want to be left alone all the time. Again, I know everyone’s different. So don’t assume you’re being a bother if you stop by a couple times to check on your friend. You being there for them will mean so much more than you can imagine.

3. Offer some practical way to help when you see them

Everyone says “I’m here if you need anything”. How about actually bringing something! Anything that is a necessity works if you really don’t know what to bring. Water, rice (if you’re Haitian- I kid), snacks, paper goods, cleaning supplies- any of these things will do.

These are some things you can do to show your grieving friend that you care for them and that they are important to you.

I would love to hear how you deal with grief so do leave a comment below.

If you find this helpful, share this post with a friend and follow us on Instagram, Facebook or Pinterest.

Also, if you enjoy the blog, subscribe to receive posts and encouragements directly to your inbox!